Amazing Funny Quotes

“When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?’” -Sydney Harris


“I make more mistakes than anyone else I know. And, sooner or later, I patent most of them.” -Thomas Edison


Best friend: the one that you can mad only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.


I hope we’re friend until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.


Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’


A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.


Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.


Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.


I hope we’re friend until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.


Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’


A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. -Bernard Meltzer


A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body. -Jim Hayes


It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -Ralph Waldo Emerson


It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. -Marlene Dietrich


Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.


One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. -Clifton Fadiman


You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. -Laurence J. Peter


Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.


Real friendship is when you friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.


“To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.” -Jarod Kintz

You May Also Like