Famous Mark Twain Quotes

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.


Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.


Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.


The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.


Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.


Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.


The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.


…nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.


It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.


Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.


Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.


I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.


No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.


Always tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember what you said.


The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.


Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.


In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.


Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.


If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.


Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.