Famous Mark Twain Quotes

By reading keep in a state of excited ignorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don’t know how I got in and can’t find the way out, but I’m having a booming time all to myself. Don’t know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.; it is my daily bread. I wouldn’t have the question settled for anything in the world.


We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.


A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.


One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.


Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.


When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.


He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. “If man could be crossed with the cat,” said Twain, “it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” There’s always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.


Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.


If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!


I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.


All right, then, I’ll go to hell.


That is just the way with some people. They get down on  a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.


Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.


It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.


The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.


The secret of getting ahead is getting started


It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.


I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.


I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.


Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.


The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.


The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.